Life is Beautiful
by SaintLuki
Summary: A series of oneshots showing aspects and facets to life - life is beautiful. Realization One: Life was only beautiful when she was there. Gerza & Mystwalker


**Happy Valentine's Day.**

**Oh God.**

**I recommend you listen to 'Life is Beautiful' by Sixx am (the naming song for this story) while you read this particular chapter.**

**Warnings: Extreme depression.**

**Life is Beautiful**

**Realization: Life was Beautiful**

Tired, brown-green eyes stared out the window absently, swirling the contents of his glass cup with little flicks of the wrist. There was a heavy aura around him, projecting outwards into the rest of the dark room. The moon sagged lifeless white glow onto him, bathing him in all shades of crystalline blue.

The thick silence simply continued as the man lifted the glass to his lips with trembling hands, sipping the golden-brown liquid. He wasn't paying attention to much of anything, it seemed; too lost in his own thoughts to heed the thundering silence downstairs, nor the almost silent knocks that hesitantly rapped against his door every now and then.

"What am I supposed to do now?" He asked with a humorless smile, setting down the cup with the barest of clinks. There was nobody else in the room. Just him and the heaviness that weighed down on everything. He just continued speaking out loud, into dense air and dark-tinged light.

"There isn't much of a point, without you." He commented dully. "Everything just kind of blurs and fades into nothing. You getting what I'm saying, Erza?"

_Drizzling rain, the faint sounds of sobbing in the crowd. The gathering of white faces and shivering arms. Him far away, standing atop one of the roofs, trembling with suppressed rage and anguish, teeth grinding together, eyes wild. Unable to join in, but mourning none the less. Mourning, mourning, mourning…_

"…nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive." Another dully spoken comment, this time his voice choked. "Makes me livid thinking about it. I don't know anymore." He lapsed into silence. "…**would** you cry if I died? You've always been the one telling me to live. To stand tall and face the wrongs I committed. But I never knew if you were saying that because you didn't want a death on your conscience, or because you personally wanted me to live. Really, Erza. I wonder why I never asked you all this before."

_The ground shaking, crumbling, tearing away into nothingness below them. The two of them, hanging off of the rock cliffs, straining with exertion, him yelling at her to pull herself back up, she screaming that she wouldn't leave him to be swallowed by the darkness again. Perhaps it was the urgency. Perhaps it was the pain of blood spilling forth from his side. He felt the world spinning around him, continued to yell at her to go. __**Go up**__. Or she would fall. She would fall, and she wouldn't be the pure red Erza he loved so dearly. She would be tainted, tainted with black the way he had been long before. And he stared down at the black mass below, gave Erza a helpless look. A gathering of dark energy, crackling with animosity and drawing him down…down…_

"…I don't know anymore." He repeated. "I…"

"…_Gerard." She called out his name faintly, the sword plunged through her stomach. The arrows and magic and weapons searing in to him and the pain that alerted him he __**wasn't**__ okay. Blood…blood…_

"…_yeah." He coughed out. He wished Natsu and Gray…Lucy…__**anyone**__ would get here._

_**Anyone**__ would do._

_Save her._

"…_swear…" Her voice was growing fainter and fainter, fading off into the distance; echoing away to somewhere he couldn't retrieve her from. "…swear on your life…no one…no one will cry. No one will cry at my funeral."_

"I won't ever see you again." The sudden realization was enough to send him reeling again. He reached out a shaky hand for the glass again. Anything to calm his nerves. Calm, calm…

_He tried to go to her._

_Tried to scream out. Tried to extend his magic to save her._

_He tried __**everything**__._

_But she was already gone, eyes staring blankly ahead in death, one of her hands spread towards him in her last minute effort to grasp a hold of him._

_And she was dead. Gone._

And he mused. Hah. Tilted his head backwards. He remembered trailing after them when they had found her cold body against the cold stone, the shrieks of horror and the sobbing. He had lifted himself to his feet, hot and cold all over, feeling the urge to vomit or collapse to his knees. But he simply chose to silently trail after them, a cold procession with her body at the front.

Muffled voices outside.

"…yeah, I know…" Gray Fullbuster's voice at a low growl. "…I…do we really have to do this? I don't think we should go in there."

They were right outside his door.

And said door creaked open.

Gray Fullbuster and Natsu Dragneel stepped into the room, both still clad in their funeral black. Natsu shuffled along behind Gray lifelessly, his face nothing but carved stone and bleak pain.

He watched the two of them walk into the room.

"…we left her room exactly like she used to use it. Nobody's been in here…what do we do with her stuff?" Gray asked hoarsely, gesturing around at the various items belonging to Titania.

Items that **had** belonged to Titania.

He silently stood as they began their slow, torturous chore of gathering up Erza's things. Figuring he should leave them be, the blue haired man whirled and stepped out the door.

Past the tables of silent Fairy Tail members.

Past Makarov, who's eyes lingered on his retreating back for the briefest of moments before snapping away and shaking his head.

And away, away…

"_Open your eyes." He begged her, changed into peaceful colours of white and flowers adorning her hair. He stood at the edge of her casket once everyone had left, crying tears of remorse. Why hadn't he been there. Why. "Open…open them. Erza…"_

He'd walked for a long time. Stared down at his feet.

The tombstones. A pair, resting side by side as if they were meant to be that way.

Bitter, bitter eyes. All his fault.

Useless, useless.

Couldn't even protect the woman he loved. The woman he had loved for so long. So very, very long.

It ate away at him. It **burned**.

He stared down at the names.

Erza Scarlet.

And beside it.

Gerard Fernandes.

He let out a bitter laugh, wondering why they had been buried together. Did he deserve to rest there with her, on that hill of heroes that Fairy Tail reserved for their best?

He turned, and walked away.

Life was beautiful.

**Her** life had been beautiful.

**Her** life had made **his** life beautiful.

All that was gone now.

* * *

Gray blinked at the desk. A glass of liquor rested on it forlornly, its owner not present. Erza had never drank. Nobody had been in the room before them.

Strange.

The ice mage was suddenly very aware of a presence beside him. He turned down to look at the guild master with surprise, opening his mouth to ask if there was anything wrong.

Makarov smiled sadly. Eyes rested on the near empty glass of alcohol for a moment.

"…I wonder if he'll ever forgive himself and rest." The old man murmured.

Gray closed his eyes. Wondered if Makarov was speaking about Gerard.

**_They found the two of them in a bloody mess._**

_The group of mages weren't in very good shape themselves; bruised, battered._

_It was via Erza's hair that Happy had located them from far up in the sky, giving Natsu the alert. They had raced over, hoping to God that nothing had happened. They were both so strong…if they had lasted this one battle, everything would have been over. There would have been nothing more to worry about; the dark guilds gone, the corrupt council gone, everything…everything…_

_She lay still. Staring off into nothingness._

_He, too, lay mere meters away from her. Facedown. Hand reaching for her, every injury possible in a battle etched into him. Glazed eyes._

_Both of them…gone, gone…_

_They buried them together._

_

* * *

_

**Dear Readers...**

** Bad writing. Painful plotline. I don't know what to say about this anymore.**

** ...but for once, I kind of understood what I was trying to write about in my story. Hahaha...**

** Well here's the first little shot for the series of stand-alone Gerza oneshots. It's a Valentine's Day thing...didn't want to write one of those fluffy nonsense things that plague Valentine's Day. There's love in it, so hey it works.**

** ...I honestly don't know what else to say. Updates will be irregular, putting up oneshots as I remember.**

** -Saint**


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